i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
