If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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