can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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