just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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