He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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