I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need a beard to bite.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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