i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
