You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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