I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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