Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
