we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
