I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
