I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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