i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
