this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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