your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
