he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Randomize
