im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
