Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
