Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
