the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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