Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
