Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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