I heard we made out
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
