You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
