i just wanna soil my oats bro
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think people are normalizing furries
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
