fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
