Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize