That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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