"it" just moved
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
too bad you live with your parents still
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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