I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
