i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
