so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
