can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize