It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
