I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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