Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
