Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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