i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
