I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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