She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
