hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
