i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
