Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
