the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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