You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Be still, my beating vagina.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
