I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
