I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
