so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
