More tranny stories later!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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