k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
