So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
