so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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