i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
