Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
