glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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