Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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