I smell stomach acid.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
