Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
