I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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