happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
