So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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