I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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