Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
