we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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