you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
