I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
