the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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