4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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