I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
