I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
