you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
