We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was like getting head from an anaconda
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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