Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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