but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
