it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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