i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
