Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
