did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize