Moan for me like Helen Keller
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He felt like a one man threesome
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize