college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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